“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” Proverbs 14:10; “Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation.” Joel 1:3
Dearest Chloe and Phoebe,
While packing for a move one day, I rummaged through a box of photos. I came across a picture of me with grandma and pocky. This photo was taken at a restaurant, apparently for my third birthday. There was a birthday cake in front of me with three candles on it. I was smiling, but my red-tinged nose and my still-wet eyes betrayed I had been crying.
I remembered this night! I didn’t recall all of the details, like that we had been out celebrating my third birthday. But specific details came into sharp focus.
I remembered the red and white dress I was apt to call my strawberry shortcake dress. It was a dress I liked a lot and I specifically recalled the strawberry applique on my chest. I also remembered the black-and-silver retro wall paper in the background. But mostly I recalled how I felt that night.
I remember feeling sad, really sad, because my mom and dad, the two people I loved most, the two people who made up the bulk of my exposure to human relationships, did not understand me. I remember how alone it made me feel.
But a comforting voice that echoed the sentiments, “It’s okay, I understand you,” filled the empty halls of my young lonely heart. I remember feeling comforted.
This was my earliest memory of God. It’s a familiar voice I still depend on.
Maybe this was my first encounter with God. Or perhaps I met God even sooner. The main impression this memory left on me was that it’s never too early to know God. If anything, children probably have more ability to hear and see and believe than we do. Grandma and grandpa used to regale me with tales of people and pastors from all over the world praying for me in grandma’s womb while pocky was in seminary school. Maybe I met God then.
I share this story so that if or when you have children of your own one day, you will remember to expose them to God at an early age. If you plant those seeds while they’re young, they can walk through life with this comfort and hope. Something I have always taken for granted is that though I have claimed to feel loneliness through some dark moments, I have never truly been alone because God has always been by my side, even when I asked him to leave and let me live my life as I see fit. For there is no person, however loving or close, who could ever fully understand us.